I realize I haven't blogged in an absurdly long time. I could blame it on the first 6 weeks of having an infant. . .the late nights, lack of sleep, ect. (Sheena, however, has been busting out the blogs though so not much of an excuse, huh.) Butttt. . . it wouldn't be much of lie, I've simply been too busy snuggling with my baby to bother about ANYTHING. Until today, that is. As I sat staring into Rykers big blue eyes, curled up on the couch with him like always, I looked around my house and realized that although it is very nice to have all this bonding time with my son, I have been letting everything else go. I need to be an active mom, with a purpose in life, making the most of the moments. As Bethaney stated "I am woman, hear me roar". It's not like this lack of motivation began AFTER his birth either, this started early into pregnancy and just never went away.
My routine (EVERY day) since his birth has been this:
Morning: Getting up at 6:30 to get Tucker up, give him a bath, feed him breakfast and have him to the bus by 7:30am. Feed Ryker (lazy breastfeeding style, with him strewn across my chest as I drift back off to sleep) We then sleep or snuggle all day, with him feeding every 45min-1hr. After several "morning" naps I look at the clock and realize to my great surprise it is almost 1:00p.m. I think to myself I should do something. So I either play tetris or read a kindle book on the touchpad while holding Ryker. Tucker gets home from school, his friends come over. Soon it supper- I feed him whatever I can whip together (pasta, cereal, toast/eggs,) Chris has been woking out of town, so cooking a big huge dinner for the two of us seems so silly. . .Then it is 7:30pm and Tucker's bedtime. Put Tucker to bed and sit with Ryker. This is usually his fussy time so I rock him from about 8-10pm and then it's bedtime. Get up a few times during the night to feed him and then it all begins again.
Notice I never really leave the "morning" slot. My whole day is a morning. And notice how my daily agenda doesn't include "cleaning" or "laundry" (whoa those quotes are messed up, the first one is curving the wrong way. . .but there's not another quotation key on the keyboard. . .huh) Of course, I do clean and cook as needed, but. . .a lot more could be done.
Anyway, this cycle has led to me feeling a sense of uselessness. I am probably the only breast-feeding lady who is actually gaining weight post-pregnancy. (ha, feels weird to call myself a "lady")I feel like life is going to pass me by and I'm going to wake up one day and say "holy moly, I'm 50? I still haven't left the couch"
So from now on my motto is "Carpe Diem!" I WILL sieze the day. And today I began. I rearranged my furniture- cleaned like I haven't cleaned in a very long time. Like the hands and knees, sorting through clutter, throwing away stuff ect. 5 loads of laundry are folded and about to be put away. By the end of the week I WILL have an IMMACULATE house. My closets WILL be gone through and everything I don't use/wear will be put away.
Next week. . .I have a perfectly good little workout gym downstairs in my apt building. Since my house will be immaculate, I will not have much to do inside so. . .I WILL strap on my Baby Bjorn, put my little guy in there, and go run on the elliptical for one hour every day. He will love it because he loves bouncing, and it will further my mission of self improvement.
Anyway, this sound like a new years resolution type of thing, but I can assure you it is not. I already feel so much better after today. I think people need to feel they accomplished something at the end of the day. As much as I love Ryker, if I had continued doing what I have been everyday I seriously think it would have led to me being a very depressive, listless, unmotivated person, not to mention obese. Nobody wants to feel like their existence is void of purpose.
I just realized that I have such control over the future of my life. I have it so good, why waste the potential? I have a wonderful boyfriend and we get along fabulously. We go months w/out an argument (rarity right there), I have 2 amazing boys and the means to do as I wish. What more could I ask for?! My only job in life is to Be Amazing at whatever I chose to do, how lucky am I?? I'm free to do whatever recreational activity I choose .. join little mom groups, volunteer, get Ryker in infant swimming classes since he loves water. . .the list goes on. I have no restrictions- money isn't an issue, time I have plenty of, ability. . .it's all there. I can't even express how I feel really. I just feel so blessed in life, I don't want to waste the potential that life has by shlumping around.
It's just like they say, A body in motion tends to stay in motion, a body at rest remains there
Disclaimer: My priority is still my baby It's not that I don't value the precious time I have spent snuggling with him. Every thing I choose to do will involve him, he will be right there.
P.S. My computer will not let me comment on any blogs. Super frustrating! Bethaney, I am so excited for you! Our kids will be like 7/8 months apart and ONE day they WILL meet!! Pretty sure you'll have a boy. . .2 boys 2 squirrels.
